you make me feel like
lalalalala
la
la
la
lala

ok omg

Just scrolled through all my blogs. You're so pathetic.....
Wow excuse me for my loserness.
I actually took SOME (very few) interesting photos though! Others... I just wanna slap myself, omg. LOOOL.

Long time no seeeeee

seems like everyday i'm between these two moods: poutywhiney, overly happy smiley.
i don't even know what i feel anymore.

1. I'm starting to attach myself. I don't know if I like it.
2. I'm sorry I haven't been able to keep up with you (guys) lately... Really, really sorry. If any drifting is really going down, I hate that I probably have to take the blame.
   
3. Sometimes I care too much. Why are person-to-person relationships always so uneven; one person always cares more than the other?
   

what happened.

Is it the New Year? (Am I having an off year again..)

Is it exhaustion?

Is it laziness?

Or am I just being human...?

Well please, I beg of you, Fiona. This is not the time to be human. You must be superhuman. Amaze yourself, amaze others. You have to do this.

Push. Push harder than delivering a baby. You know you have to. For yourself, for pride, for success, for proving others wrong, whatever. Just. You can't lose it now. Not now, not ever.

Is this the feeling of satisfaction?

Feeling of confidence?

Feeling of accomplishment?

Feeling of WOW?

Because it seems so familiar. Like that feeling of invincibility I had not too long ago, but quite long ago. That feeling I failed to feel for a really long time. That feeling I missed, almost forgot.

I love it.

And I hope my feelings do not fail me this time.

In need of energy.

I hate Mondays.

I'm always so laazy and unproductive and distracted.

Not good not good.

I've GAWT to stop.

after 4 days of relaxing, it's time i get myself back into schoolmode, into workmode.

no. more. distractions.

so aim, you're outta my life again until thanksgiving.

i was right.

=__= i gotta stay away.

reminisce

everytime, once it strikes around 12:30 am, i get into a little nostalgic mood. especially after reading E.B. White's Once More to the Lake.. oh. =_+

i miss summer and hong kong and those days of fun.

Woooow guys.

It's been half a year since I've been on here.

I laugh at myself talking about being busy last year.

This weekend was my lazy weekend though. SAT Reasoning is over with (for the timebeing), and I need 2 more subject tests to take. Finals are coming up soon, and this time, I don't have xmas break to study over. Well I guess it's good for xmas break, but that also means I should start reviewing now..
When does this ever stop?

...

since when did i stop looking forward to relaxing but instead to hurry up and finish my work so i can move on to something else..?

they don't know how to stop'm

wish i were unstoppable,

can i have my battery back, please? i gotta keep runnin runnin ruuunning.

I hate being compared to

Yet I compare myself to other people so much. Hypocritical.

I don't know what I wanna hear. When I hear things like, comparing yourself to others will only trap you, I feel like maybe I am being too hard on myself and I should loosen up on the pressure. But at the same time, I feel like they don't believe in me; they don't believe that I can do better or just as well. And it kindof worsens the conditions, because that's ONE MORE PERSON for me to WANT to prove wrong.

I really hope I don't disappoint myself. I want to be able to go, "In your face."

Sometimes I wonder if my standards are my own, or of others.

and at this very moment,

I feel invincible.
As if, what can't I do?

I wish to preserve this feeling in a special place forever, so whenever I'm feeling weak, I can get it back out.
Too bad, wishes don't come true half the time..

But I love this feeling. I love it. Love it, love it, love this feeling of accomplishment. Please, let it stay for a purpose, let this feeling be convincing, let this feeling be real. Until I really am invincible. Please.

about the last blog..

What am I saying?
Just reading it made me feel like a brat. Compared to last year, I should be so much more grateful for this year. Sure, maybe there was more work--but who isn't working hard? Sure, maybe I received more pressure from myself about the future, more stress, more studying etc etc, but I'm not the only one. I'm in no position to complain.
And compared to last year, I think I feel a lot happier and more grateful for everyday I manage to get by..

So idk what I'm thinking when I say it "hasnt been the best" but although it wasnt the best, it was definitely better, and it has been quite okay with those memorable days.
I sound as if I'm complaining, so I hereby apologize to myself.

i wanna be the sunshine to your rainy day

Sophomore year definitely hasn't been the best for me.

But those rare memories, I will remember forever.

For once, I'm not lying 'boutchu

^This is called a self-taken photoshoot, not conceited camerawhoring :).

Forgot about you again, little blogspot.


Well, my Spring Break was wonderfully fabulous, check the facebook/tumblr for pictures. Had a blast with some of the most splendacious people in the world. No, that's not a word, but that's how indescribable they are (=. Happy super late birthday to Stacy, Danica, and Emily. You guys were definitely the highlight of my breaaak!

STAR testing is always a chill week in terms of classes. Well, I'm different, I always manage to find a way to make myself explode. Not a good thing.

I am fearing the future again. Time is going by faster. SATs. I still haven't registered.
My topbiggest worry now is not getting into AP Psych next year. Not enough people for 2 sections, too many for one, so she suggesed AP European History. NOT. INTERESTED. I actually want psychology. Especially now, I think I've set my target. And in bio, learning about the brain and all, I realize, yeah, this is the thing I'm interested in. ._.

Ushdigshgidsgdsdshhd.
I'm really gonna run out of time..

I'm on the rim of giving up.

oh help me.

To do To-Day

[x] Wake up
[x] Finish reading Act4

[x] Breakfast/Spongebob

[12:25 X] Dramatic Devices
[ ] Continue fighting word problems

[ ] Lunch / Down with Love

[ ] Proofs

[ ] Sister come home / get her books from library / IS THE WEATHER GOOOOD?

[ ] And all the rest; later on at night :

[ ] PROOFS

[ ] And if Igive up.. study for finals.

Long time no see,

Missed me anyone?

Well, I guess I'm able to shut myself out really easily. From the Internet. To some extent. I'd die without it, but sometimes I know I'd die with it, so I just close myself up. Overwork myself to keep myself from overthinking and worrying or being stupid and foolish, or just plain emo moments. Work tortures you, work stays with you, work takes you away from everything!

But sometimes I think I overuse that technique til I break down -___-.

But it's oaky! I know I work myself hardest before breaks because I take the break for a reasonnnnnn.

Well nothing's changed lately, I guess. (Idk why this blog even exists..)

Got a haircut but hair's growing back,

Bug catching a lot, bug breaking a lot,

Quite some moodiness,

LOST MY EARRING -_-.
New drama: Down with Love<3.>

Idk what else I've missed since I lost blogged but..

knockknockimhere.tumblr.com

xanga.com/cinnamorolly_fionax3

;D keepin up with the fiona.

oh and reading back on my last blog,
yeah i'm quittin'.

You give me power.

and nope nope, nope i'm not scared.

i've finally decided and i've found it made me feel happier.
but i just had to bring upon another decision.

stay in key and be dedicated (even though i'm so inactive..) or go for interact, where chances seem higher?