reminisce

everytime, once it strikes around 12:30 am, i get into a little nostalgic mood. especially after reading E.B. White's Once More to the Lake.. oh. =_+

i miss summer and hong kong and those days of fun.

Woooow guys.

It's been half a year since I've been on here.

I laugh at myself talking about being busy last year.

This weekend was my lazy weekend though. SAT Reasoning is over with (for the timebeing), and I need 2 more subject tests to take. Finals are coming up soon, and this time, I don't have xmas break to study over. Well I guess it's good for xmas break, but that also means I should start reviewing now..
When does this ever stop?

...

since when did i stop looking forward to relaxing but instead to hurry up and finish my work so i can move on to something else..?

they don't know how to stop'm

wish i were unstoppable,

can i have my battery back, please? i gotta keep runnin runnin ruuunning.

I hate being compared to

Yet I compare myself to other people so much. Hypocritical.

I don't know what I wanna hear. When I hear things like, comparing yourself to others will only trap you, I feel like maybe I am being too hard on myself and I should loosen up on the pressure. But at the same time, I feel like they don't believe in me; they don't believe that I can do better or just as well. And it kindof worsens the conditions, because that's ONE MORE PERSON for me to WANT to prove wrong.

I really hope I don't disappoint myself. I want to be able to go, "In your face."

Sometimes I wonder if my standards are my own, or of others.

and at this very moment,

I feel invincible.
As if, what can't I do?

I wish to preserve this feeling in a special place forever, so whenever I'm feeling weak, I can get it back out.
Too bad, wishes don't come true half the time..

But I love this feeling. I love it. Love it, love it, love this feeling of accomplishment. Please, let it stay for a purpose, let this feeling be convincing, let this feeling be real. Until I really am invincible. Please.

about the last blog..

What am I saying?
Just reading it made me feel like a brat. Compared to last year, I should be so much more grateful for this year. Sure, maybe there was more work--but who isn't working hard? Sure, maybe I received more pressure from myself about the future, more stress, more studying etc etc, but I'm not the only one. I'm in no position to complain.
And compared to last year, I think I feel a lot happier and more grateful for everyday I manage to get by..

So idk what I'm thinking when I say it "hasnt been the best" but although it wasnt the best, it was definitely better, and it has been quite okay with those memorable days.
I sound as if I'm complaining, so I hereby apologize to myself.